Valentine's Day special...

I had a different post in mind...but since mush is still in the air...I thought of posting something that was written years back...it won me my first creative writing prize in school...since I continue to remain a emotional fool, here it goes...

Where is Love?

I am pure, I don't hate, I don't envy, I don't feel proud. I don't promise you anything...I am just waiting to be found. I dwell in each one of you, deep within your souls I exist, unknown to most of you, misunderstood and misinterpreted by most of you...I am Love!

I just wish you could understand me a little better than you do today. It hurts to see that I have been so distorted. It's amazing that though I exist in each one of you, you still fail to realise my presence.

I am there in each pain a woman feels when she brings her child into this world, I am there in every penny a child saves for his mother’s gift, I am there in each tear that drops when a loved one dies, I am there the first time a young girl blushes when she sees her chosen one, I am there in every pang you feel when your loved one is going away.

I understand it looks difficult when you see people apparently falling in and out of love, as they call it. But hold on, I am still there for people who are true and honest. Don’t expect me to be a dream come true, don’t expect me to be the answer to all the numerous questions you ask yourself.

Can you still hear the beating of your heart? Can you still hear the cry which is tearing your soul apart but doesn’t show at all on the exterior? Do you feel a complete sense of confidence deep within you? Do you feel a pang of sadness every time a special person moves away from you? Yes, I am there, within you, amidst the thumping of those numerous muscles.

I may not be present between a boy and a girl running around the tress singing a romantic song but I am there in the silent prayer of gratitude you say when you are happy. Yes, I am there when tears brim from your eyes with the joy you feel in your heart.

Don’t question me? Dream lovely dreams but don’t expect them to come true. Acknowledge my presence, just feel my touch, like a breath of fresh air, like the beauty of blooming flowers, like the glittering multitude of stars at night.

I am an all-encompassing feeling. I am a wave of emotion, I am storm of pain. Yes, I bring pain along. I have to or you will never know what it feels when I am not there. If you are careless enough to lose me, you will that intense pain, the feeling will wrench your soul, the feeling of loss…so difficult to overcome.

Don’t look for me moonlit nights, don’t look for me in Mills ‘n Boons novels, don’t look for me Archies cards, don’t search for me in the expensive Valentine’s Day gift you got…
Ever felt like reaching out to someone, not for who the person is but for what the person is? Have a thousand words come to your lips but you never said them because you are afraid that voicing them might hurt someone? Have you ever wanted something badly but never bought it because you needed the money to gift something to someone else? Have stayed up late at night finishing an assignment for someone else? Have you looked up at the sky, seen the stars and felt comfortable by just thinking that someone somewhere is wishing upon the same stars.

Finding me is just the beginning, you have to be strong enough to hold on to a lot more pain, surprises, anticipations and happiness that will come your way. Stop questioning and enjoy each and every moment. Don’t try to hide me, I will reflect in your eyes, in the warmth you feel, in the affection that floods your heart, in the immature way you will sometimes behave, the stupidities, the craziness are all a part of me. So just sit back and hold on…you need to.

All thoughts, all passions, all delights,
Whatever stirs this mortal frame,
All are but ministers of me,
And feed this sacred frame.

Catch me if you can!

You...

I look at the golden band on my finger and wonder if it means anything?

I think of the balmy summer evening, our fingers entwined looking into the vast expanse of the sea before us, staring into a uncertain future...

I think of the long bike rides at night, holding you tightly against me...afraid to let go...

Of the conversations at 'Coffee', of the hide 'n seek games with relatives and friends...

Of sitting at the cinema hall, trying to hide from your cousins...

Of the day-long shoots, of the zoom-in 'n zoom outs which made me impatient till I realised the beauty of those shots...

Of exotic dinners at the best eats-outs 'n of broke days famished for good food...

Of the best New Years eve, kissing under the bright sky with crackers bursting every second...

Of shivering with fever 'n having no one but the comfort of your arms around me...

Of wanting and yet, waiting for the right moment...

Of looking into your eyes and seeing a uncertain and yet a sure future...

Of going back to an empty bed night after night and still finding you next to me...

Of fighting, crying and throwing things...

Of almost forgetting your face but still remembering your smell, your touch 'n your taste...

There is so much of you I still don't know...there is a lot about you thats so familiar and that familiarity is comforting but for all that I don't know and that I'm waiting to discover, I'm impatient to discover...

Discover a new side of you....a you I've never known...I want to discover the responsible you...will you ever evolve from being the careless lover to a resposible husband? I don't know...I wanna discover...have i discovered the real lover?