On breaking up...

Once hailed as the most traumatic experience, its not as bad if you can go ahead and do it...its just that we get so used to being with the same person that after a point it seems diffcult to imagine that you can actually be without the person.

For a while you might feel a bit lost but thats about it, once you get back to doing things on your own its not as bad. For those in long-distance relationships this is where you have the edge...there are not too many things to miss out here except phone-calls.

What I find funny however is the way men and women react to a split-up. Here however, I must specify that I am not defending nor generalising either gender, its just what I have experienced and seen...so, no offence meant.




Men however, madly, deeply, intensely in love, after the break-up the rebound happens quite quickly. When they break-up they do anything, starting from cigarettes, to alcohol, to grass or all of the above. The intenser the relationship the worse the addiction. They'll cry, howl, create a scene, get drunk (here again, the intenser, the worse the scene). And then its hardly a month or two at the max and they have moved on to greener pastures.




Women react a bit differently, most women take the first break-up quite badly, ditto men, they cry, howl, create a scene, try a attempt or two at suicide. Then being the emotionally-stronger gender they take a hold of themselves, take about a year to embark on a new serious relationship. Subsequent break-ups are however less dramatic and most walk-out with dignity.

The above behaviour is however subjective to, who dumps who, the relationship is more or less serious, married couples excluded, people not from the not-too fast lane and where both/either partner are mentally stable and not the Darr or Fatal Attraction kinds.

Here, I emphasise that I don't endorse the Devdas types. I was always of the opinion that the man was a loser and I never did understand what was the big deal about him?

I basically have a simple funda in life, as far as love and relationships are concerned, you should either be a conformist or a rebel. The caught-in-betweens are like Devdas, losers. You either chose and stick by your choice or you don't risk getting into a relationship. The ones who want best of both the worlds, usually fall flat on their face.

Anyway, I am deviating from the point. I don't advocate self-destruction for a break-up because like Sushmita said in a recent interview, "I am grateful to all the men who came to my life and left when they did." Every relationship teaches you something, it should make you a better and not a bitter person. As they say, Its better to have loved and lost rather to have not loved at all.